Если в доме был темный длинный подвал, ваш папа был аптекарем и в детстве подарил иорушку - человеческий череп, в католической школе преподаватель устраивал игру в «лошадки» (мальчики ездят верхом на девочках) и наказывал сидением на коленях под устрашающим изображением распятого Христа – рисовать вам Чужих кровососов всю земную жизнь! А если вас еще и зовут Ганс Рудольф Гигер (HR Giger), то вполне логично купить в родной Швейцарии замок в местечке Гюйгер и устроить там музей.
Ганс Рудольф Гигер. Вход в музей со скульптурами Гигера
Вход в музей со скульптурами Гигера

There, in the museum, tourists lose their desire to taste the famous cheese and butter. Indeed, all its four floors contain something different than oil paintings! But holograms, airbrushings, mintings and sculptures of alien monsters in all their charms and guises. Fangs, teeth, claws, spines, entrails, unioins and joinings, flesh and machines... The Giger’s signature style — the “biomechanics” of Aliens — is impressive!

...Some time ago the work of the Swiss Giger impressed the American director Ridley Scott. Having scrolled through the Necronomicon (Masks of Death) poster collection in 1977, inspired by the book of the same name by G. F. Lovecraft (gamers, go ahead!), the filmmaker instantly smelled his favourite smell of Alien money. Scott immediately invited Giger to work on the design of the future fantastical creepy film, and the nimble xenomorph nightmare, hatching from the man-flesh of astronauts, amazed the sophisticated audience more than Hitchcock’s horrors.

Ганс Рудольф Гигер. Голова
In 1980, the artist was awarded an Oscar, and other Aliens followed, as well as Aliens vs. Predator, and finally, in 2012, Prometheus burst out, whose entourage was also made by the great and terrible Giger. About 250 million dollars were spent to revive them — a smash! Mr. Scott implemented Giger’s giga-plans at the highest budget level.

It is not surprising that in the Giger Museum in Switzerland, which the artist opened and equipped himself in 1998, tourist are becoming active again. A couple of hours by train from Zurich, where Giger works now, and you are in a typical Swiss place. Pastoral idyll: hills, houses, flowers... And here come the berries! The house with a winged monster above the entrance, a Mortal Machine horror mechanism in the showcase and Madame Alien and biomechanical babies aside. Welcome, earthlings! The world’s largest collection of the artist’s work awaits you, from paintings and sculptures to furniture and film projects, works from the 1960s to the present day.

You can only take pictures at the reception desk, but these shots are enough to scare relatives upon arrival. Mamma mia, an ordinary young lady is sitting selling tickets right under the wings of the monsters! Well, you are in trouble. Here is an eyewitness account: “Imagine yourself inside an alien evil spaceship. Dark. Quiet. A black rubberised floor, cut with incomprehensible symbols, evoking sadness and hopelessness... Installations of Aliens in full growth, hanging, in particular, from the ceiling... The walls are hung with an epic cyberpunk, the main character is a woman with a kind and beautiful face, fused with the machine either with her spine, now with her breasts, now with God knows what else... Holographic posters that change the picture depending on the angle of view... A picture of an endless wall and bottomless portal to nowhere... Everything is very gloomy, and this gloom is beautiful.”
Ганс Рудольф Гигер. Гигер за работой
Гигер за работой
XX век

The genre within which the artist works is called “fantastic realism” — oh, it is really real, to the point of eerie. Once the customs officers took the airbrushing paintings in Maestro Giger’s luggage for... photographs! “I wonder where I would have made them — in hell, or what?” the Aliens’ dad was indignant.

And painted his next babies — sketches for the future café, specifically, the GIGER-bar. A great idea — after a three-storey museum and the emotions of the same scale, tourists just need to refresh themselves! Of course, there are chairs in the exposition — those with alien spines. But you know those museums: “no sitting” here, “no touching” there... And the Giger-bar near the museum is public and very popular among tourists who are crazy about cheese with a floral taste. It doesn’t matter that the coffee is expensive, but the panorama inside the prepared Alien is great! Everything is thought out to the smallest detail, from the “skeletons” of walls and furniture to the type of vases, dishes and napkins.

Ганс Рудольф Гигер. Гигер-бар, интерьер 1
Гигер-бар, интерьер 1
XX век

It is a pity that the complete idea of Maestro was never embodied in Japan: so that the booth tables would be lifts and go up and down, up and down — alas, the architects argued with the artist. However, he already has enough to do: to organize invited creators’ exhibitions in his museum, as well as his own exhibitions around the world. For example, in 2012, the Moscow Planetarium hosted a whole cultural event with a screening of Giger’s works, a demonstration of footage of the Aliens creation with Ridley Scott, and comments by a seasoned Giger-ologist. And in the 2013 Internet blog, Giger mentioned working on another variation of Aliens, so the maestro draws again, awful...
Ганс Рудольф Гигер. Мозг
1987, 100×100 см
Therefore, if your nerves are strong enough — go to the museum in Switzerland! And do not forget to turn up the volume of the legendary ELP album “Brain Salad” (Giger is the author of the cult cover), or even show devil’s horns at the KORN concert. The soloist’s microphone stand is also designed by the same Giger; it is miraculously nice! But the songs are Alien.